Who Are You, Goddess?
The Goddess Kristin is a complex creature full of snark and vinegar. She changed careers recently, but her day job never has been as intriguing as her rich and fulfilling fantasy life anyway, so who really cares what she does during her waking hours? (An exception to this "Who Cares?" is granted to her husband, who wishes that the goddess spent more time helping to keep the Dustbunny Gang from overwhelming the house with their sheer weight and less time online shopping for yarn. The goddess doesn't blame her husband for this concern, but would rather think of Dustbunnies as cute, fluffy, adorable things rather than as contributors to the end of Western civilization as we know it. She realizes it's a coin toss).
The Goddess was raised on the mean streets of suburban northern California. She still has nightmares of those 50F degree nights in December, huddled in a heap with her stuffed animals by the fireplace, hoping for just one more scrap of banana cream pie before her caretakers sent her to bed.
She has largely recovered from her childhood of comfort and ease, and is now one of the nation's pre-emminent smart-asses. Her cynicism is well known throughout her household, and her number one fan is probably her dog, Rhett. That may just be because she lets him up on the couch on occasion while she watches the X-Files on DVD.
The Goddess also communes with three
mostly ungrateful cats, the two oldest of which can be seen here mauling each other. Actually, this
picture is *really* out of date, since the kitten on top (Riley) is now six years old and about 18 pounds. But he still has a tendency to jump on the other cat
(Nora), and she, in turn, continues to make faces like this one. The goddess is still waiting for the three cats to settle down together for a single picture. Right now Riley and our third cat, Melly, get close enough, but Nora's in another zip code.
The Goddess has deigned to marry a mortal, and if you want to know more about this lucky, lucky man (who was mentioned above, and who can be seen at just about any hour of the day waiting for the goddess to clean out the cat box of her own volition), you can read about David and his world here.
The Goddess is actual size, but she seems much bigger.
That should be enough for you, but if not, here's a quick run-down of other things you might or might not give a damn about. If you don't see it here, , but The Goddess doesn't promise to tell the truth because she's a capricious diety.
Q: Likes?
Among many other things - yarn, vacations, bubble baths, kitsch, sleeping in, Mulder, Las
Vegas, driving, lemurs, cooking, Songs from the Big Chair (yes, still),
gnocchi, This American Life, raspberry vodka,
They Might Be Giants, Disneyland, DisneyWorld, Disney animation... just about
anything Disney, ok? Except that Country Bears movie. Who green-lighted that
project and may I smite them?
Q: Dislikes?
Where to start? Spiders, baseball, Paul Harvey, getting stuff under my fingernails,
Janeway, the word "moist", people who don't let you get off the BART train
before they stampede their way on, Martha Stewart, Cosmo magazine, Temptation Island, country music,skeins with a knot in the middle,
dark chocolate, snoring... should I go on?
Q: Favorite TV shows?
In no order whatsoever - House, Mystery Science Theater 3000, The X-Files, Good Eats (I
love me some Alton!), Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, Thunderbirds, Monty
Python, Star Trek: TNG, The Kids in the Hall, Strangers with Candy, The Family Guy, The Simpsons... yeah, I know.
A lot of them are defunct. It's sad.
Q: Favorite movies?
The Godfather and The Godfather Part II, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Jerk, Alice in
Wonderland, Gone with the Wind, Rio Bravo, Edward Scissorhands, GoodFellas... There have to be more than that, since we have a DVD collection that'd choke a horse...
Q: Flight or invisibility?
Omigod, invisibility in a heartbeat.
Q: Favorite comfort food?
Vodka.
No I'm kidding. It's actually Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. But vodka comes in a close second.
