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Home » Archives » December 2006 » So. Much. Food.

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12/15/2006: "So. Much. Food."


The thing about being a teacher is that, despite the fairly abysmal pay, the constant blame of politicians and the pressure to fit an hour's worth of lesson into 42 minutes, you won't go hungry. At least, you won't at my school, where even on a normal day you can find something to eat just about anywhere. Teachers bake things. This seems to be a truism across the board. They are givers. And they are never more giving than at holiday time, where the food starts pouring in the day after Thanksgiving break and does not let up for a second, culminating in an orgy of culinary delights on the last day before break. Which is today.

Let me think for a moment and sum up the food this week:

Bags of homemade almond brittle: 1
Snowman covered bag of Ghiradelli chocolates: 1
Box of chocolate covered macadamia nuts: 1
Pot luck lunches: 1
Pot luck breakfasts: 2
Very large bags of Harry and David's peanut butter truffles: 1

And then? Then? to top it off? We're having our classroom party today. Oh, the food has reached ridiculous proportions! To wit:

Liter bottles of soda: 11
Gallons of lurid red punch: 3
Dozens of cupcakes: 2
Boxes of candy canes: 1
Boxes or bags or plates of cookies: 6
Tins of brownies: 3
Packages of muffins: 2
Plates of hot chicken wings: 1
Ginormous plates of homemade sushi: 1
Containers of Indian food: 2
Plates of unidentifiable but homemade pie-shaped items: 1
Bowls of macaroni salad: 1
Jello pies: 1
Loaves of bread with containers of spread that might contain tuna or might be crab: 1
Loaves of quickbread: 3
Bags of chips: 5
Huge plates of watermelon: 1
Things ties up in bags that I haven't even opened yet: 2
Enormous pizzas that I will order at 11 o'clock and which will disappear into the hungry maws of 8th grade students exactly 2 minutes after they arrive: 2

Lord help us.