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03/20/2007: "So it has come to this"
When my midwife walked into the examining room this afternoon, she apologized for having taken so long. "I was working on setting you up with an OB," she explained. Because of the diabetes, you see. And the fact that I will be going on insulin ASAP.
So I have that going for me.
Much dietary tweaking has been done this past week. I have eaten no milk or fruit at breakfast, only one fruit and no milk at lunch (and vice versa), only one of my two allotted starches at dinner, played endlessly with my evening snack and... my numbers are still all goofy. One day I'll have all the daytime numbers under control but the fasting blood sugar is too high. Then the next day the fasting is OK (on the high end of where we want it, but in range) but my post-breakfast and post-lunch numbers are bloated, despite eating the same things in the same amounts that were fine 3 days ago.
My placenta is going on some sort of military-backed coup in there and my pancreas is powerless to stop it, is what I'm saying.
So... off to the OB's. I'm actually less upset about this that you might think, because at least now I know. I am a girl who does not deal well with ambiguity. I don't like not knowing what's going to happen. Tell me the world is going down in flames, tell me things are royally screwed up but just tell me. Don't say, "It's possible that you're hosed." Either I am or I'm not - I don't do middle ground.
I did find it interesting that my midwife set me up with a different OB than I see for my paps and the like. My regular coochie doc (who I will refer to here as Dr. Oldcottage) has a bit of a reputation for being a horse's ass, actually. My mother, for instance, cannot stand the man. He can, I'll agree, be arrogant and condescending, but my own experiences with him have been limited to the occasional womanly exam and I haven't laid eyes on him in over a year, and I've never had much in the way of a relationship with him. I think that's a-OK. I don't want to feel too close to someone who does what a gynecologist needs to do to me. Get in, get out and don't make me handle deep conversation, is my motto.
On the other hand, Dr. Oldcottage is also terrible about returning messages. And I don't think I really need that with everything else that's going on, you know? So the fact that Maggie the Midwife pointed out that my regular OB is Dr. Oldcottage but she had spoken to another doctor about taking me on was interesting. What was behind her interest in sending me to a different OB? Was Dr. Oldcottage not around today? Does he not deal with this type of problem? Or perhaps is he such a known horse's ass that she wished to spare me his (ahem) care?
The world may never know.
I will see the new doctor on Thursday, when we will talk insulin and other plans. I can't say I'm looking forward to it, but at least I know where I stand. More info as I get it.