[Previous entry: "It's hot and everybody stinks"] [Next entry: "What a Deal"]
09/06/2007: "A Tale of Two Mornings"
We're still working on our routines Chez YarnHacker, since they seem to change randomly. One day Dessa will eat on the dot of 6:30 am, 10:30, 2:30, 6 pm and 9:30 pm, drop off to sleep and I have to wake her the next morning to get going. Another day she might skip the last feeding altogether and still sleep until 6 am.
Or... she might not.
I'm still trying to let her set the pace as much as possible, since I think she really knows best when she's hungry or tired. I take my cues from her - I know when she's tired because she fusses a certain way, or rubs her eyes or has a certain cry. This does mean that some nights I'm up in the middle of the night because I didn't wake her at 10 pm and force a bottle into her mouth. I'm OK with that. Some folks want to stick to a strict schedule - I'm not one of them.
Some mornings are rough and some are simple. Some are effortless and some are ear-splitting. Most are just fine because I'm with my sweetie and even when it's tough, it's good. Each day is a surprise.
For example, yesterday morning Dess woke up around 5 am, kicking and fussing but still sleepy. Her eyes weren't open and she wasn't really awake, so I picked her up and brought her to bed with me. We cuddled up close and after about 5 minutes of sleepy restlessness on her part, she fell back to sleep as did I. We had a good 45 minutes of sleep together and when my clock radio came on I was sad to have to get up. One of my favorite things in the world is to sleep like that with my baby - it's a true joy to me. But I did have to get up, so I did. Dessa stayed asleep and let me get dressed, eat breakfast and get all ready to go. I even skipped changing, dressing and feeding her so she could stay asleep and just brought her right over to my Mom's in her sleeper.
This morning was a slightly different story. I have nobody to blame but myself really. Dess had fought napping all afternoon and into the evening. After I fed her at 6:15 pm she finally fell into a deep sleep, and I was loathe to wake her. I put her to bed and decided to try to color my hair while she slept (gotta get rid of those grays!) and was completely successful - that kid was out. So after my shower it was about 9:30 and I fell into bed and joined my daughter in dreamland.
Until 3 am.
A quick feeding led to a bit of a battle to get back to sleep. Dess just didn't want to go back to sleep. At one point I was pacing the bedroom in the dark and when I looked down at her I saw her big bright eyes wide open watching me. When she saw I was looking at her, she broke into her big happy grin. Who could be upset with such a happy baby, even if she was keeping me from sleep?
That all changed pretty rapidly, unfortunately. She cried from 3:45 to 4:30 am. Just when I was starting to lose hope... she was out again. Some switch somewhere got flipped and bang - goodnight, Mother. And she slept until I had to wake her up to go.
Looking back, even when it's bad, it's pretty good. I just love to be with her, to hold her, to feel her. I organize things very tightly at school so I can get out as quickly as possible and still have everything ready for the next day so I can be reunited with her as soon as I can be. Even if that does mean pacing the floor at 3 am. I'm OK with that.
Notes from a Yarn Hacker
