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09/19/2007: "Because I'm Not Dead"
For those who come here solely for a Dessa fix... sorry. Stay tuned - funny stories about pooping, rot-your-teeth-sweet pictures and horror tales of INABILITY TO GET TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW OH *GOD* I AM DYING BECAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP, RIGHT? coming soon.
For now... a dozen words or phrases that are not used nearly often enough to describe me (because, as you know... it's all about me):
1) Starlicious - I know it's not really a word. They used it on the E! television network and I should be ashamed to know that. This fact has not, however, rendered me unable to want to be starlicious at least once in my life.
2) Underweight - That's never been a problem.
3) Sweet-smelling - See, I have an itty bitty baby who I love beyond words. And she has an itty-bitty (read: huge) spitting up habit. The combination of my love for her (and hence desire to hold her close to me) and her spitting up? Well, it results in a hell of a lot more laundry, lemme tell you...
4) Athletic - My nickname has always been "Grace" because... it's irony! I am not graceful in the least! I can fall up stairs and I almost always have several bruises that I cannot explain. The best I can do is assume I walked into... something. Because I am forever walking into something so that is a safe assumption.
5) Secretive - I was raised Catholic, which means I have a built in need for confession. I may not tell every person everything but I can just about guarantee that I have told everything at least once. You just need to have all the right people in one place and you'd know all there is to know about me. Dave would be a good place to start.
6) Patient - I'm getting better at this since I became a teacher and very much better since becoming a mother, but I am not an inherently patient person. Never have been. I'm really working on enjoying my moments with Dessa because as much as I want her to sit up and play with toys and hand things to me? I also want her to stay as sweet and needy and sleepy as she is now.
7) Rich - Aaaaahahahahahahahaaaaaa! We are able to pay our bills and sometimes we eat outside our house so we are not poor. I know this. We are quite fortunate - I know this too. But anyone who calls the teacher and her self-employed husband rich? Would be laughed right the hell out of our mortgaged home.
8) Green-thumbed - I admit it. I totally want an amazing green yard with fragrant lavender and lush lawns and flowers but here's the problem (or problems). A) I live in California where we have droughts. B) I am too lazy to pick weeds. I get head-rushes when I lean over and I hate getting my hands dirty and also it is far too physical for me. My lily-white hands are too delicate for such endeavors. C) I HATE BUGS. Apparently one needs to have an affinity for our 6-8 legged friends in order to have luminous gardens and I? Hate those suckers.
I seem to need a gardener, but please see #7, above.
9) Rebellious - I think the furthest I ever went with regards to rebellion in high school was to wear my crisply laundered uniform shirt untucked from my itchy, unflattering, truly awful grey wool pleated skirt. And I got called on it a few times by the dean of girls so it was sort of a rebellion. Kind of.
But sad. So, so sad.
10) Risk-taker - OoOoohohohohoooohahahahaa! Here is a short list of Very Safe Things I Will Never Take Part In Because I Am A Huge Chicken:
- Disney's Tower of Terror
- Hot air ballooning
- Standing at the edge of the Sears Tower and looking down at the street below like Ferris Bueller did
- Any roller coaster that hangs on the edge and just stops there... waiting... before it falls 90 degrees to its doom
See any themes here?
11) Health-nut - I will always prefer Pop-Tarts to wheatgrass and there is not a damn thing you can do to change that.
12) Well-rested - I may never get enough sleep again. Even when I get a full 8 hours I feel like I need a full 8 hours. 8th graders are exhausting. Not to mention the baby.
In fact, can I go to sleep right now?
Notes from a Yarn Hacker
